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What ACTUALLY happens in a “healing circle” ?

adelaidesphere

I’ve been lucky to have taken a seat in many circles. With maybe 500+ people (95% women) for over a decade, maybe longer.

Yoga retreats, mother-daughter bonding, environmental grief sessions, seasonal celebrations and storytelling gatherings. In Australia, Bali, Ontario, New Mexico, Quebec. For spring, full moon, Earth Day, mindfulness workshops and community collaborations. In co-working spaces, dance studios and at ashrams.

At no time was I forced to wear saffron robes, pierce anything, sit in full lotus (although I did try to sit in 1/2 lotus in the early days) be nude, nor witness anything to do with goats !

I’m guessing most of my family and friends would describe circles as “woo-woo” BUT without actually knowing what is involved. Do YOU even know what “woo-woo” means ? I didn’t – so I looked it up.

It’s a term that only arrived in our language since the 1990’s, like the sound of a ghost, to mean –

  • sketchy
  • para-normal mysticism
  • New Age
  • outlandish (!)
  • unscientific

It strikes me as unscientific, even sketchy, to judge something as “woo-woo” without knowing what it ACTUALLY is. So, what constitutes a circle – if you were even able to generalize?

  • It’s a deliberate gathering. Usually to help people celebrate or honour a certain time – say an astronomical marker like the longest day of the year (a scientific fact), a rite of passage (say puberty for girls, a physiological event) a shared community concern (say climate change) or collective grief (say, after a savage bushfire). Not very WW.
  • It’s inclusive. Circles aren’t a clique, a closed friendship group, or exclusively for women. They are predominately held and frequented by women (more about that later). The joy and gift of a circle is to hear unique AND shared experiences and be a witness to other people speaking their often personal and heart-felt stories. Not very WW.
  • It’s simple. Circles require very little. A safe, comfortable space, a host or two, some cushions and some time. Time to chat, time to listen, time to reflect. A bit like a super-long communal bath (oh, hang, on I said no nudity. OK, like a sauna ? No wait, more like a book club). Again, not very WW.
  • It is an event that creates health and wellbeing. There is plenty of evidence that women who meet in very calm, deep listening environments can heal their day-to-day modern stress and benefit from this ritualised meeting space. The stress of modern, capitalist, patriarchal life creates cortisol which causes long term damage to women’s health. It’s like a form of very cheap therapy, a way to reduce anxiety, loneliness and play around with art and nature without judgement or comparison. Again I say, not very WW.
  • It educates us back to right relationship with earth. OK, so this is as woo-woo as it gets.
    Long long ago, from around 30,000 to 5,000 years ago, people gathered around a central hearth for warmth, cooking and company. Stories were told and knowledge passed down orally. In particular, younger women were taught by older women things like plant medicine, food sources, how to manage childbirth and child-rearing, and so on. This sense of equality and shared worship of both male and female deities kept communities strong and fair. It kept natural resources guarded, cared for and respected. That doesn’t seem so sketchy.

Is that enough ? Surely you still don’t think a circle is something weird now ? Surely ?

In case it’s still a yes (really ?) ……..
This is how a circle usually goes……
Let’s pretend we are gathering for a circle to celebrate spring…….

  • It lasts for, say 1-3 hours.
  • People (let’s say women to make it easy) arrive in a quiet, safe place – where they won’t be disturbed by commerce, strangers or the demands of children or chores. Imagine !
  • They bring a little food, perhaps a flower posy, or something excess from the garden to share with others who may have less.
  • Imagine now, people way back long ago, had endured a hard winter – they had maybe been isolated, lonely or unwell.
  • People one-by-one introduce themselves and say something about what brought them there.
  • There might be some meditation to calm them, an attractive object or sacred item passed around to reflect on. These days, it’s the gilded easter egg.
  • Without judgement, interruption (THIS IS HUUUUGE !) or solving, they explain how they feel. Say for spring, what they might hope to plant in their garden, what their personal plans are for the year, what isn’t working or is working well.
  • There might be some wisdom shared about how this time might be acknowledged. For example, spring is a time to plant food gardens – and the circle might also discuss the importance of balance, to make sure effort is also countered with rest and ease.
  • Once everyone is heard – there might be a craft, some singing, dancing, eating around the fire.
  • To end – a pledge is made to support one another. All of this happens in confidence and with deep trust.

Crikey. Sooooo weird, huh ?

I can honestly say by simply being heard about my sadness (losing my Dad), anger (about an argument in a relationship) or fear (that the planet is doomed) I have been supplied with more confidence, ease and contentment than any self-help book or counselling session. I have laughed super-heartily with people I’ve only met/known for a single night. I have shared some deep thoughts that might never have been heard if it weren’t for “sisterhood”. I have marked the cycles of the seasons in a way that I’ve never known possible.

So, who seems outlandish now ? Those who choose to heal simply and soundly with open hearts and curious minds, or those who have been taught by the mob, that anything unknown is not to be trusted ?

You will always be welcome.

You will be heard.

You will be healed. I promise.

Want to be radical ? Light a candle and simply speak up.

(Image by @musicbowls – via Unsplash)

nature therapy, sit spot, Uncategorized

Sit spots are hot

adelaidesphere
Image from @henripham (courtesy of Unstack)

I’ve wanted to work “in nature” from about 5 years of age.

We have ALL the ID books – the what-is-this bird/fungi/lizard guides. Our family never book accommodation without searching for “eco-resort” first. We’ve enjoyed ceynote swims in Mexico, hiked to the snow line and our kids have portaged between Canadian lakes. My husband is a super keen catch-and-release fly fisher.

I’ve woken up after sleeping outdoors in a Kosciusko winter with a pillow-halo of ice. We hike in our nearby hills most days and we all have our favourite native birds, flowers and fungi. I consider myself to be about a 9/10 on the nature knower/lover scale, and yet……

Why has it taken 52 years to hear about sit spots !? I can only assume until now, you have never heard of them either…..

Sit spots are the OPPOSITE of what most people do in the bush. When I do a sit practice – I hear other humans coming a mile away. I can tell the angry ones coming from their pressured workplaces – they crash through the vegetation, yelling into their phones, not aware of their behaviour, missing interactions with species. A dog might run ahead – but they look down, their surroundings just wallpaper.

A sit practice is not like that. It’s a practice that is part of a suite of tools used for nature therapy. And nature therapy is HOT these days. It’s like being in a yoga class with a bunch of your best friends, rather than watching a yoga video. It’s immersive. It brings more calm AND at the same time as more concentration. It’s like therapy – only without the white boxy walls and stinging price tag…..

A sit spot is a place you go to regularly enough to develop an affinity for – a fondness. It’s your secret place, whether that is close like a backyard or a remote and pristine vista. There is a distinct emotional relationship between you and what’s around you. You know most or close to all the major species there (whether you know their formal names or not). You aren’t perceived as a threat – rather you become accepted as a natural part of that place. You have done the “dirt time” there.

Here are a few video resources that make it easy to learn the habit of sit spotting.

Nature Philosophy

Wild Earth

Sunshine Coast – Nature Weavers Earth School

Wild Sight

Rather than try to teach the details of how to do it here – I’m offering sit spot events in person. Be sure to follow this blog in future and my FB page Naturehood, Nurturehood for updates.

In the mean time – here are some basic tips.

S – S is for select. Somewhere close and familiar. Somewhere you like to be.

I – I is for individual. This is your place. Best to go alone.

T – Time. Give yourself at least 30 minutes of pure observation in a comfortable spot. (It can be quite hard to do.)

S – Suspend your judgement. You don’t have to DO anything. If this is too hard, you can sketch or journal, or stroll around a tiny bit. Get used to the feeling of freedom. How amazing it is to do NOTHING !

P – Plan to bring the right clothes, shoes, a drink or water. Plan NOT to look at your phone at all, except to set a timer.

O – O is for being open to anything. Perhaps you’ll be surprised to see a predatory bird, observe a wind direction, or see a too-close-a-reptile species you’ve never noticed before !

T – T is for talking it up ! Tell everyone that you do sits. Find a sit buddy or two and compare notes.

I’d love to hear how you feel.

Uncategorized

Australia needs a new seasons and cycles calendar Part 2 – The story of the European calendar

adelaidesphere

“The Labours of the Month – December” by Renzo Dionigi
(1500-1550)

Way back in the ’80s, my friends and I were beach-adoring teenagers. Every January, we’d body surf then lounge around watching cricket, savouring every moment of those sunny days. We saw those weird (English or American) snow-glitter Christmas cards, but never gave them much thought.

Back then virtually no-one I knew had ever seen snow, let alone skied. Winter at Christmas was as absurd as St Nicholas in a bikini !

3 decades later, my family & I experienced real cultural surprises during our first white Christmas in the wintery dark of Manitoba, Canada. The deep colour of evergreens and holly berries and the nourishing warmth of December roasts finally made complete and perfect sense !

We stayed on to live in Ontario for 7 more “proper” Christmases. The dreamy, twinkle-lit, longest night at Winter solstice (December 21) became my favourite day of the year. The world was becoming brighter again as we listened to sound bowls being played in community spaces.

Nature outside was reflected in our indoor traditions and behaviours. The energy of stodgy food was needed to clear huge snow banks from the asphalt driveway. The stillness of the January freeze was perfect time to consider a New Year. Soft colours of pastel eggs met early spring thaw. Then the Easter bulbs arrived – tulips, daffodils and native trillium. It was cottage season from May 24 onwards.

Mid-summer and the accompanying abundant light were celebrated in June. Kids stayed up playing in the street until 10pm in July and August as the twilight lingered.

In the second part of the year, the seasons naturally wound down. Halloween and Thanksgiving were integral parts of the harvest. All the puzzle pieces of our ancestral European calendar clicked into place for us. We broke out our woollens when the kids went back to school in September. Things were in their logical, natural order at last. There was an ease to it.

Since being back in Australia, our calendar has felt topsy-turvy to me. More and more people are recognizing – our calendar does not fit our hemisphere!  

  • Why don’t we have harvest festivals (like pagan Mabon) instead of Easter? (For more about how this festivity works in the southern hemisphere see here) How weird is a rebirth celebration in our autumn ?
  • Why do we insist on Halloween symbolism in our spring?

We have to flip this damn conventional Gregorian calendar by 6 months. It’s illogical.

The Southern Hemisphere pagan wheel, which fits with our familiar 4 seasons, spring>summer>autumn>winter is one way to understand how the cycles function. Many who school their children in the Waldorf system will also be familiar with the Phenology Wheel as an example of this type of calendar/framework.

We all need to make this shift. It is based on common-sense. I’ve been living according to astronomical and natural markers for a while, tuning in to the seasonal changes. It feels like there is more ease this way. Currently the calendar (that Pope Gregory invented by the way) to me feels unnatural – like an ill-fitting suit.

True, we can’t just call June, January – but it IS time to consider the Winter Solstice in June as the first marker of a new (perpetual) cycle, or New (solar) Year. And so here we are………….

Projects ought to start soon as energy increases – due to the sap rising all around us in spring (August, September, etc). As summer approaches, life is full of frenetic activity and effort. This is the peak “doing” of the year. Autumn – the first half of “the old year” directly after Christmas, is all about harvesting rewards and wrapping up tasks from July > December. The first half of the solar year for building, the second for letting go. Then the deep dive to winter and annual wrap up happens again as of May in the quiet before Winter Solstice.

I’d love it if others would join me to craft their own more logical and respectful framework for observing the seasons.

What might you achieve by doing this?

  • It will help you get off the often unsatisfying “Ferris wheel of Hallmark holidays” No more glitter cards !
  • It can help you plan and achieve your goals alongside your body’s physical patterns of stagnation (winter), planning (spring), enactment (summer) and assessing (autumn). 
  • It will fast-track your connection with nature as you realise the natural rhythm and energy of this way of living.

This month – just after the longest night of the year, I’ll be hosting a couple of events and providing tools to help you start your 2021/2022 year properly. Starting in spring – with growth and energy and ending logically with winding up your life’s patterns the following winter (in 2022).

There’ll be links to cheap, cheery & quick workshops, an e-book, templates for creating your own wheel and some guidance for how to integrate your own habits and practices with those of the Australian seasons.

Please join me!

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Australia needs a new seasons and cycles calendar – Part 1 – The story of the Indigenous calendar

adelaidesphere
“Angwirri” 2021
by Frances Belle Parker
Yaegl Artist
Angwirri – means begin to talk in Yaygirr Language of Maclean, NSW.

As a child I’d heard the names of our local and regional indigenous areas. They had a magnificent rhythm to them…Bundjalung, Yuragir & Wiradjuri.

All I knew was that they were the names of vast expanses of land – National Parks. I might have had an idea that they referred to clans, but sadly, then – the peoples of these lands weren’t referred to by these titles.

I’m fortunate to have a strong connection to the stunning northern NSW Yaegl nation. My family ancestors had a peaceful, practical working relationship with original people since the 1850’s. Ancestors on both sides have woven into us habits and wisdom. When my Dad taught us to pull beach worms from the sand to use as bait to catch fish – I also learnt that he learnt this directly from local Elders.

I now express the greatest gratitude for being able to live on land of the Kaurna people of South Australia and I’m continuing to do as much “sorry” work as I can. This involves direct action such as understanding my story, inviting, donating, reading, learning, connecting, making mistakes and starting over.

There was a time – for almost a decade, where our family of 4 lived on the land of the Onghiaran people of Ontario (where the word Niagara comes from). It felt so incredible to find this out, but then so devastating to learn that the Onghiaran people (a “neutral” Iroquois tribe) last occupied the peninsula in 1641.

In Canada, humbling First Nation experiences gave us other insights into indigenous lives and their land. My husband secured a grape supply contract with the Osooyos Indians – an economic powerhouse of British Columbia tourism and agriculture. We witnessed the incredible Wiikwemkoong Pow-Wow on the unceded territory of Manitoulin Island. Recalling the deep sounds of huge drumming circles still makes me shiver.

We experienced Mexican Day of the Dead and US First Nation traditions. We ate moose. We heard prayers sung while salmon were pulled in and hit on the head from the Fraser River. We saw how human ceremony and rituals were inseparable from their surrounding biomes. It was an unsettling reminder how little we knew of our own first people. We realised Australians have much work to do. Although we are moving in the right direction, it’s still painful.

“Sorry” had been said by the Australian government while we were overseas. On our return, at my kids’ school assembly, the relief of hearing my first Acknowledgement of Country brought me to tears.

So, in the spirit of trying to find a way for us all to be together….

Knowing the indigenous name of each piece of the country is hardly new – but indigenous calendars are still unfamiliar to most. Our population might be diverse but our habits, observations and activity are still dominated by a predicable European calendar. 

In the country of the Adelaide Plains the Kaurna people have a seasonal calendar. In other parts of the country, the start of a season might be a star appearing in a certain part of the sky or a time to harvest a rich food source like eggs or fish. The hatching of dragonflies marks a seasonal shift in regional Western Australia. What a delight!

It’s time we learnt about these principles from those who have lived here sustainably for 50 000 years. We are slowly waking up and learning the truth of this land and how it operates. It is an opportunity AND privilege that we might learn about living well on this continent from people who have the oldest continuous culture on earth.

Crafting YOUR own calendar based on local wisdom is a great way to start. For e.g. my autumn to winter shift is marked by rain moths emerging from the ground. I know once they arrive, edible fungus will appear in the Adelaide Hills. I’m learning about what native birds come and go and when. Our walnut tree will be bare soon as the sulphur-crested cockatoos and their 7 calls (that I can detect) take their last meal at solstice.

So how might understanding these calendars benefit you?

  • Tracking the seasons will help you live with greater respect and integrity for Indigenous people (supporting reconciliation),
  • Understanding landscapes will help you become acquainted with your ecological neighbourhood and human community,
  • You will get to know the rhythm and flow of the year from the perspective of plants and animals (both introduced AND native), and
  • It’s a form of nature therapy providing positive mental health benefits.

Thinking of creating your own personal seasonal calendar? Winter solstice is THE PERFECT TIME…..

Let me know – I have courses teaching you how – starting in late June.

Click here to register…….

This post is in honour of National Reconciliation Week 2021 (May 27- June 3). Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.